Our society in North America does not do a great job at allowing us the time to grieve. Grief is a natural part of life, because loss is a natural occurrence. The loss of loved ones, pets, relationships. The loss of our friendships, marriages, innocence, expectations. So many losses as we grow and mature, it is part of our natural evolution, growth and development.
Watching my sister, who is a professional athlete, gracefully respond to losses in her career has been a true gift. She would say that herself, and did on her post-fight interview last week. Her losses make her a better martial artist, they have been her best teacher; they have grown her resiliency muscle group. Resiliency is our ability to respond to change. And that is a huge part of how we all need to handle Covid19 restrictions.
Do you ever wonder what the caterpillar is thinking, intuiting and feeling?
I always look at this metamorphosis example and my focus is typically on the beauty of the butterfly. Not on the fear, trepidation and trust that little caterpillar must be experiencing. When I think of grief, I look at the centre photo. The time it takes to be in the chrysalis. Where we need to look deep within, allow our feelings, and our fears, allow our process to take its time and transform us.
For you in my circle of friends and Fr-amily, who are in grief and receiving this from me today, I just want to say….I am with you, I see you, and I love you. I know you are deep in your process right now and I am always here willing to grieve with you. Whatever that looks like: time, silence, flowers, a meal, prayers, or a welcome distraction of friendship and togetherness.
For those others in this circle, I honour that covid is a time of grief for all of us. It is part of this strange exhaustion we are all experiencing as we resiliently, possibly rebelliously respond to the changes being imposed on us. We have all been in our cocoons and the world itself is different as we emerge, our job is to gracefullyrespond to the changes we need to make.
Transformation isn’t for the faint of heart. Loss at times is crushing, overwhelming and can take our breath away with sadness. Everyone grieves differently, it is not an exact science. The only helpful thing I have heard is that it takes time. If I could offer what I am doing in my response to losing my grandma last year: I honour my bad days. I know I am in a right of passage. I know a part of my youth, innocence and childhood just died along with my last living grandparent. And I know that as I slowly embrace the traits and lessons my grandmothers wanted to bestow on me, I mature honouring them as I grow into the matriarch they would have been proud of.
When we look at the people we most look up to, we notice that their stories were filled with loss. Filled with challenges and filled with grief. Why are they our heroes? Why do we aspire to be like them? It is because of who they became as they responded to hardship. Their resilience, their attitude, their wisdom. Their GRACE. many times when we look deeper, we realize that spirituality and faith are a part of what we admire in others. Their belief that there would be a better world. Their dedication and willingness to transform their lessons into a legacy.
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